TGIF and a happiness equation

...Dr Cliff Arnall, a part-time tutor at the University of Cardiff, [...] has devised a formula which measures good mood using increased outdoor activity, high energy levels and more sunlight.
The equation Dr Arnall devised, in work commissioned by ice cream maker Walls, was O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He.
Within that, O stands for being outdoors and outdoor activity, N for nature, S for social interaction, Cpm for childhood summers and positive memories, T for temperature and He for holidays and looking forward to time off.
Today is also pinpointed as the happiest day of the year because of its added ‘thank goodness it's Friday’ feeling at the start of a summer weekend.

Meanwhile we check out ten great foods to get you in the mood and raise those seratonin (sic) levels.
(Am I the only person on MSN who noticed these guys have spelt serotonin wrong? :nerdyspellingNazisis:)

In other news, we're all alive, well and happy to be back alhamdulillaah...lots more very soon iA

If we were inanimate objects...

If I were an inanimate object I'd be:

for obvious reasons: it's a multi-tasker and handy to have around the house

Abu-RR:
b/z it always points to the right direction, no matter where it is!

Rasha:
b/z everything is rosy-hued to her and her head's 'most always in the clouds :P

Rida:
b/z she's a realist, but that doesn't stop her from looking outward.

back to school (groan)

The intro of this article on the increasing costs of school supplies made me smile:

"The phrase "back to school" has struck fear into the hearts of children for decades, but increasingly, parents as well are beginning to dread the beginning of term."

It's true...stationery supplies, uniforms, shoes and backpacks and the other 12396473625631626 school essentials that one's kids insist they "need, not want" can make a laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge hole in one's pocket, without the right strategy.

While the internet is awash with tips on smart back to school shopping strategies, we have our own homegrown strategies :

1. Ask: Does my child need this, or merely want it ?

2. Begin early before the stores are flooded with a mindboggling array of products and harried parents rushing around trying to make sensible purchases from the glut.

This time around we've almost completed our shopping thanks to Nanu who sponsored all the pre-emptive shopping trips while she was here, basically buying the kids all that they laid their hands on...jazaahallaahu khayr.

make your home reading central

our home is reading central alright (alhamdulillaah), albeit of a slightly different kind (inside j/k).

Here's a really cool "inside look at a home rich in words and language — a home that inspires both kids and adults to read. It's full of ideas that you can quickly and easily replicate in your own home."

question hour: 8 am to 8 pm *only*

are billygoats dangerous?
what's the meaning of psychological?consternation? qaasitoon? faasiqoon?
what do you call tha'lab as-sahraa in English?
what kind of animal is Timone?
can you show me what a real meerkat looks like?
do we have chocolate chips to make cookies?
can we make chocolate chip cookies?
when can we make chocolate chip cookies?
can I play with my new toy?
when can I play with my new toy?
did you have jewellery when you were small?
who was your best friend in school?
how many friends did you have?
who taught abba to drive a car?
how do cable cars work?
why don't cable cars fall?
what's this fire in the sky (lightning)?

at the rate the questions are flowing, I'll have probably blown a fuse in my brain by the time the summer holidays come to an end...which is why I've decided that all questions will be answered only between 8 am and 8 pm...nobody should have to handle questions before and after that...not even mums.

how my son was introduced to eminem on the school bus

so...a couple of days back my kindergartener gets off the school bus, humming a little to himself, the picture of tubby cuteness...maa shaa Allaah...and I'm thinking to myself alhamdulillaah he likes his school.

A couple of days later, he's tinkering with his cars and making sounds that sound to me like ''do-ing..do-ing..do-ing'' and I'm thinking this is probably the 21st century digitised equivalent of ka-boom or crash or bang...which are the sounds that cars are supposed to be making when they're involved in races/crashes...so all's well so far, no parental alarms go off in my mind.

More time passes by and I hear him mumbling some words and then singing a refrain, at odd moments of the day: ''do-ing.. do-ing do-ing.'' Is this some kind of new fangled nursery rhyme that I've forgotten/failed to pick up in my school days?

I google (what else?) the refrain, and let me warn you, the results are not pretty.

One website lists ''20 Worst Lyrics'', and includes this particular song by eminem among them.
When I enquired at the school if eminem features in the current KG curriculum, it naturally does not; but there are kids on the bus who listen to these songs on their way back from school on their mobiles/i-pods, and the entire bus ...KG kids et al ...join in the refrain.

When I expressed my resentment/repugnance at my child being exposed to such repulsiveness during the course of acquiring an education, the answer was: ''this is an international school...'' and it goes without saying that kids ...even Muslim ones there are going to behave in an ''international'' not Islaamic manner...and as is obvious to the entire world excluding fundamentalist hicks like me, eminem is as international as one can get.

A lot of people who listen to music routinely crib about ''fundamentalists'' ''infringing'' on their rights to enjoy music ...what about the other way around? Do people who believe that music is haraam and try to save themselves and their families from falling prey to this ...there's no other word for it ...epidemic... have any rights at all?
How many times do people unwillingly find themselves with ''songs stuck in their heads'' ...unwanted pieces of white noise they've unwittingly picked up in supermarkets or superstores or the subway or cabs or simply shared air? Do they have the right to protect their senses, or is having to endure this assault on the senses one of the penalties of not living in a coccoon?

3 years + over 500 posts = finis?

so...a lot of ppl have been writing in to ask where on earth are we, and to express extreme irritation at our frequent tendency to vanish without leaving a forwarding virtual address...jzkx 100000 for writing in...we're around alhamdulillaah, just extremely extremely bzzzzzy, alhamdulillaah...we haven't run out of things to say, just the time to say them in (:P)

I just realised today, it's been almost 3 years since we started this blog...subhaanallaah, time flies!

just like every other piece of personal writing out there, this blog has had its share of drama/dilemmas...but the one overwhelming ambition I've had for this site is for it be a positive space, where a reader's click leads them to something that can enlighten/amuse/enrich...elicit a thought process or a smile...and in shaa Allaah, I hope we've succeeded somewhat in that endeavour (notwithstanding the occasional rant aka 'thinking aloud' post :P)

I think one of the most positive things that happened on the blog was when we removed the site-meter and the comments option... doing away with that drastically reduced the pressure to 'perform' to our own/strangers' expectations...allowing us the luxury of being introspective or inane or irregular with our posts, without having to worry about what it would do to our site stats..

blogging is a medium born with an Achilles heel ...its very plebeian-ness, that contributes to its huge popularity is damaging to its prospects in the long run...most people refuse to take blogs/bloggers seriously (except perhaps bloggers themselves)...sometimes with good reason: unlike other media that at least *attempt* to appear unprejudiced and 'balanced'; blogs carry no sense of personal/professional accountability...and a personal bias/outright agenda is actually considered a good thing...

I've often been asked: what's a person like you doing in a place like this, and I've always replied in defence of the medium...blogging is entertaining and engrossing, and in the absence/restriction of real-life contact, is a great way to connect with/simply look in and learn from other people's experiences and perspectives and lives...does a 'real-life' connection with people whose facial and vocal expressions one can see and hear, whose cheeks touch one's own in greeting everyday, make this remote connection redundant?

I sincerely hope not.

even though we're all really busy with real-life projects, that, unlike push-button publishing require tons of patience and perseverance and paperwork to see them through, we still hope to keep this connection alive...in shaa Allaah.

no more baba and baby-log

R-R are discussing something very interesting on 'Sisters in Faith': their most and least favourite domestic duties (I don't want to call it chore b/z it rhymes with the word 'bore').

They were asking me what were my favourite jobs around the house when I was their age, which led to some cringe-inducing confessions...[/censored]

There was a portion of the article that I posted below that really struck me:
''Raising women's self-esteem, as a first step to liberating them from the confines of the home, was one of feminism's earliest and most vital tasks.''

My experience is just the opposite: I've found that one's self-esteem is inextricably linked to how in-control/on top of things one feels around the house... housework constitutes valuable life-skills, it's not just time-wasting techniques ....and I have the research to prove it:

Involving children in household tasks: Is it worth the effort?

Parents of the world, take note: You can make a big difference in your children's future by asking them to take out the trash. And do the laundry, wash the dishes, make the beds, put away the toys
Research by Marty Rossmann, emeritus associate professor of family education, shows that involving children in household tasks at an early age can have a positive impact later in life. By involving children in tasks, parents teach their children a sense of responsibility, competence, self-reliance, and self-worth that stays with them throughout their lives.

What the research shows: Using measures of individual's success such as completion of education, getting started on a career path, IQ, relationships with family and friends, and not using drugs, and examining a child's involvement in household tasks at all three earlier time, Rossmann determined that the best predictor of young adults' success in their mid-20s was that they participated in household tasks when they were three or four. However, if they did not begin participating until they were 15 or 16, the participation backfired and those subjects were less "successful." The assumption is that responsibility learned via household tasks is best when learned young.

How the tasks are presented also influences children's abilities to become well-adjusted adults. The tasks should not be too overwhelming, parents should present the tasks in a way that fits the child's preferred learning style, and children should be involved in determining the tasks they will complete, through family meeting and methods such a weekly chore chart. They should not be made to do the tasks for an allowance. The earlier parents begin getting children to take an active role in the household, the easier it will be to get them involved as teens...

To get back to the topic...my favourite domestic duty is:

because it has a beginning and an end, and at the end one can actually see results.

My least favourite duty is:

because it's never ending...which is why I try and recruit R-R to do it for me!

bzzzzzzzzzy (reprise)

----------------
PS: planning on posting last Friday's khutbah '20 points for a Muslim family', and this Friday's on schedule in shaa Allaah...may Allaah put barakah in everyone's time!!

we're all set!

erm...I mean, here's solid proof that as one grows older, one gets *set* in one's habits: after a weekend of tweaking and teasing widgets on this template, I decided that the new look was just *too* new for me...it didn't feel/look/act familiar at all...so it was decided all round that only a new blog would satisfy the youngsters' yearning for a "non-fuddy duddy/non kiddy-kitschy" template...

so here it is: Sisters in Faith, Rasha-Rida's cool new virtual room on the net...

PS: I'll continue posting on this old blog, just for old times' (and timers') sake
PPS from R-R: We might contribute too!!

purification of the soul, for kids

If you ask a Muslim: Are you a bigot?

Most people will deny it, even seem a little shamefaced if they sometimes secretly are, which is actually a good thing imho ...because virtue, and the pursuit of virtue ceases to be that, if it is not accompanied by a constant inner longing for improvement and humility (rough paraphrase from M. Asad).

But what about people who are unabashed and unrepentant about their bigotry...believing it the only way to be and aggressively foster the same attitudes in their children?

There are several times each school year whenI seriously evaluate the pros and cons of sending my children to school with the natives...there are always little incidents of verbal abuse/intimidation that go beyond childish pranks (alhamdulillaah, nothing physical yet) .

These kids don't even have the saving grace of being children from the don't-know-any-better hoi polloi, these are children in tahfeeth school, presumably with parents who are knowledgeable about the deen and care enough to invest their time and resources on having their children memorise the Qur'aan.

Funnily enough, this isn't about Arab v/s Ajam...*all* foreigners -- be they from Syria, Jordan, Egypt, Palestine, Pakistan, India or Sudan or treated the same way. It's come to a stage where people calling long-distance ask: So, how's the bigotry these days...like others enquire about the weather.

alhamdulillaah, the majority of people we've met and experiences we've had have been pleasant, it's just that the nasty bits add up, little by little, and sometimes outweigh the good.

Honestly, I feel for the children harassing my kids almost as much as I feel for my children, who go out to school to learn the deen as if they were going out to battle...may Allaah increase their steadfastness and reward them with knowledge that will benefit them and many others..(Aameen)

Like the hadeeth says, children are born upon the fitrah, it is the parents who make them one thing or the other...have you ever seen a new-born animal born mutilated, before you mutilate them ?

I feel sorry for the mutilation of so many children's minds and psyches...may Allaah always guide us all to that which pleases him, especially if we are inclined to something contrary from our own desires.

where'd we go?

our collective time has been consumed by work, studies, preparing for exams, taking exams...ad infinitum (or at least until May, 2007, pray for us in shaa Allaah)

oh..and I accidentally spilled a tumbler of water onto the keyboard of our laptop rendering the house extremely clean for a while *scroll down to see the joke* while performing an intricate balancing act that involved several sets of loose papers, multiple open windows, an excruciating toothache, two capsules of antibiotics and a number of serious deadlines...

still, it was such a bizarre excuse for not turning in the multiple writing assignments I was supposed to have submitted, that I didn't give it in the end...the excuse I mean.

in shaa Allaah, planning on being around more often...we still check our inbox though..

isn't this supposed to be a *vacation*?

Day in the life of Rasha-Rida:
lazing around, lingering in bed
leisurely breakfasts
reading all day and nearly all night
endless Nemo/Mulan/whatever-catches-one's-fancy re-runs
several course meals (okay that's an exaggeration)
oodles of noodles between meals
extended playing hours
interspersed with some Qur'aan memorisation and a cautious sprinkling of study

Day in the life of the Ed:

just 60 + days more to go...in shaa Allaah

رضاء

3rd July

today was the day Rida was born...although it isn't her birthday as in 'birthday-birthday'...that's because we don't do days ...

the day went splendidly well alhamdulillaah..it was Monday , so she had the additional blessing of following the Sunnah..in that the Prophet صلىالله عليه وسلم fasted on Mondays, which was also the day he was born...after a scrumptious iftaar, we are replete with pasta, puff pastry, chocolate cakes, watermelon and chicken nuggets...all her favourite food.

I think back to the time I learnt that she was to be born, I was in med-school in my second year, and when I learnt that I was to be a mother again, I decided to name the baby رضاء

the word has a masculine form that means contentment (with the will of Allaah)

and a feminine form that means favoured (by Allaah)

I believe that names have a bearing on one's character...and I pray that she will be twice blessed in this world and the next, aameen.

PS: I found this cool site on the etymology and history of first names..interesting stuff

Wonders never cease

Ed: Rasha just lost an entire post where she was talking abt how excited she is abt going to the uae and that she got her result today...she's too disheartened to re-post.

...alhamdulillaah she was no.1 in her class and she got a beautiful blue wristwatch with "Victory" written on it...MaashaAllaah laa quwwata illaa billaah.

BUT, for me the most interesting bit abt her result is:
she got 99 in Math
and 100 in embroidery.

Now that takes some doing!

Socially Acceptable Shalwar Kameez

Socially Acceptable Shalwaar Kameez are Made in Syria.

I've learnt something new every day of my life with Rasha-Rida, but this latest had me going whaaaaaaaaat?!

Background:
Began packing for the UAE trip [leaving Wednesday inshaaAllaah] and a few minutes into the packing, the woeful lack of UAE-appropriate clothing [read glamorous, shiny, *new*] left us depressed.
It's understandable, because the only time we shop for clothes is on the Eidayn, or when we go to Makkah/Madinah and splurge on the 10 riyal pyjama shops.
All other articles of clothing in our wardrobes are courtesy N., who regularly upends suitcases full of criminally expensive, unbearably unwearable stuff on her visits [j/k]

So, we went shopping out of season.
3 outfits each I decreed.
One for formal nights/evenings out ..mmmmmm we still remember that lovely buffet, twinkling barge lights and the sound of daf from the wedding party across the pool jazaakillaah Mrs. L.

One for the road…bookshops, malls, other excursions into the unknown

One for visits

The formal wear was easy: twin outfits, sumptuous blue denim skirts layered with cream and red trim…the piece de resistance: matching handbags.

Visions of tar melting on the road overrode common sense [who'll wash ice-cream and ink stains off?] and the next thing we found ourselves holding was a simple cotton shift, white with lots of red, green, blue hand-embroidery on the neck and the front, at least we'll look cool.

The visiting dress was tough…floorlength skirts don't quite cut it with desi relatives [one gets looks like one's sold one's soul to the West laa howla wa laa quwwata illaa billaah]. Our regular wear looks foreign everywhere except here. R-R have an allergy to all clothes desi [comes from spending a long time with natives who look down upon hindiyeen in their midst, while staying up all night to watch bollywood *barf*]

So, we meandered like lost streams back and forth between mountains of the latest shalwaar kameez, Made in India, with labels to prove it attached at the neck. Me hoping they'd spot something they *had* to buy while they put up a big show of pretending not to look between loud exclamations of ..ewwwwwwww look at that one …

…until Rida spotted them.
They were hanging on separate racks, a little removed from the hindi hoi-polloi. Pastel colours, no trim or zari , just a little anaemic line of embroidered flowers along the front.
The kameez doesn't look like kameez.
The shalwaar doesn't look like shalwaar.
But they wanted it.
And we bought it.
Because, my worldly wise daughters enlightened me, Made in Syria is the only socially acceptable kind of shalwaar-kameez for hindiyeen to wear.