read this if you think life owes you a favour

I recently finished reading Dave Pelzer's trilogy of memoirs – A Child Called It, The Lost Boy, A Man Called Dave..I picked up the book and left off more than a couple of times before I finally completed it. Even then, I couldn't bring myself to read the graphic details about the horrible abuse he suffered at the hands of – of all people – his *mother*.

Dave begins 'A Child Called It' with a poignantly short chapter 'Good Times', in which talks about how his mother radically went from a house-proud gourmet cooking, i-can-do-it-all supermom to someone who would spend days dressed in a dirty housecoat, make him clean the dishes and vacuum as 'punishment', make him sleep in the dark garage on his own, force him to forage in dustbins or in other people's tiffins by refusing to give him food, pour Clorox and liquid soap down his throat, burn his arm and in one nerve wracking incident – stab him with a knife.

In 'The Lost Boy' he talks about how he 'escaped' from his home to become a ward of the Court, his stay with various foster families and the uneasy transient relationships he formed with caregivers and counselors, fosterparents and other 'F'-Kids, all the while wondering if 'The Mother' was coming to get him in the end.

In 'A Man Called Dave' he recounts his coming of age, how he joined the US Air Force (as a cook), how he was unable to let down his guard with anyone long enough to let them get close, the strange circumstances of his first marriage and the birth of his son, the tragic death of his alcoholic father, how he began writing these books and his separation from his wife..and the subsequent blossoming of his personality as an inspirational speaker and role-model to other kids like himself, and finally his re-marriage to the only other person he bared his soul to – the editor of his books, Marsha.

As a mother, the book and these news clippings disturb me more than a little.
What evil power on earth can cause a mother to turn against her own flesh and blood in such a vicious way? I think this requires proper research – what on earth can induce a mother to physically harm her child in such a brutal, cold blooded manner?

If it is a form of insanity, that needs to be looked into in a scientific way to see what causes and exacerbates it. I seriously think there's a connection between the increasing number of "unwanted" kids and women seeking fulfillment and satisfaction outside their roles as wives and mothers.

If it is something else (like the influence of evil jinns -- the news clipping about the mother from Texas says how she "heard a voice" asking her to "give up her child for god."), that should be given credence too, and properly researched.

I'm no fan of the American social system, but I *was* impressed by the foster-care system they have established ..it ensures that kids like Abdur Rahmaan have a place to go when the nightmare is over..

The Bottomline: All the people who think life owes them a favour and they have been shortchanged in some way by God, should read this book. It makes one realise how MUCH we have to be grateful for.

what is the world coming to??

hasbunallaahu wa ni'mal wakeel..

McKINNEY, Texas - A judge declared a mistrial Saturday in the murder trial of a woman accused of fatally cutting the arms off her 10-month-old daughter.
Jurors deadlocked during the fourth day of deliberations in the case of Dena Schlosser, 37, who pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity.
“Any further deliberations would be pointless,” the jury said in a note to Judge Chris Oldner after nearly nine hours of discussions Saturday.
Police arrested Schlosser in November 2004 after finding her baby Margaret, known as Maggie, dying in her crib, and Schlosser covered in blood, holding a knife and listening to a hymn.."

the complete story is here

and

Riyadh Police Arrest Mother for Abusing Two-Year-Old
Arab News

RIYADH, 25 February 2006 — Police opened investigations into a child abuse case after a mother arrived at King Khaled University Hospital’s emergency room with her two-year-old son, Al-Riyadh newspaper reported yesterday.
Doctors found bruises and bite marks on the child’s body and that his toenails had been removed.
The mother was later arrested at her house on charges of child abuse and then taken to a psychiatric hospital for treatment. The child lived with his mother and stepfather. Police are investigating the husband’s role in the abuse.

subhaanallaah..this is just so horrible..

while we were feasting..

UN warns world on Africa drought

The world is in danger of allowing a drought in East Africa to become a humanitarian catastrophe, the UN warns.
The UN special envoy to the Horn of Africa, Kjell Bondevik, says a disaster can be avoided if funding comes "in a matter of weeks... not months".

Around 11 million people are in serious danger in Kenya, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Somalia and Djibouti, the UN estimates.
The World Food Programme, leading the aid effort, says it has only a third of what it needs to close the shortfall.
Donors had committed just $186m (£106m) of the $574m (£327m) needed, the WFP says.
"I urge donors countries to pledge more and pay. Not only to pledge, but to pay," Mr Bondevik said on a tour to see first-hand the situation in Kenya.

Past disasters
It follows past food crises in Niger and other parts of Africa where, by the time images of dying children have prodded the international into action, it has been too late, says the BBC's Peter Greste in Nairobi.
Mr Bondevik said global climate change was the root cause for the failure of the past two rainy seasons, and it was incumbent on the global community to come to the aid of those at risk.

"I'm afraid that we will go from a crisis to a disaster to a catastrophe if help is not provided in time," he said.
His comments were echoed by UK charity Oxfam, which said the response so far from rich donor countries had been "dwarfed by the immediate need".
The crisis is so bad in some parts of northern Kenya that families are being forced to eat insects, wild berries and squirrels to stay alive, Oxfam has found.
"Donors need to frontload their efforts so that action can be taken now; money given in three months will be too late for many," Paul Smith-Lomas, head of Oxfam in East Africa, said.

"What Oxfam says about the condition of Muslims in Somalia should make many of us wonder if we are Muslims as defined by the Prophet (peace be upon him).

Excerpts:“People are walking up to 70 kilometers in search of water... People in southern Somalia are starting to die from thirst in the worst drought in over 40 years... Tens of thousands are now at risk... People are surviving on the equivalent of three glasses of water a day, in temperatures of over 40C (100F)...

All surface water has gone, wells are running dry. The 830 ml available per person per day has to be used
for drinking, cooking and washing...

Children are drinking their own urine because there is simply no water available for them to drink ... Schools and local groups have collected $100,000 — a large sum in an impoverished country — to pay for a relief effort ... Livestock in the south have been dying because of
hunger...

The United Nations estimates more than 11 milion people in parts of Kenya, Ethiopia, Somalia, Eritrea, Tanzania and Burundi need food aid for the next six months.

”Will the “Ummah” do anything? Allah’s reward awaits those who do."

-- Rahila Bello, Abuja, Nigeria
published 24 February 2006

[Letter in Arab News]

Don't just sit there..DO *something*: Muslim Aid,Islamic Relief, How to Help/BBC, Red Crescent/Red Cross

do you believe in ghosts?

Question: *who* believes that something invisible that isn't even alive can mess up your computer's insides ..so that everything you type is automatically cloned into multiple warped copies..sort of like 'Multiplicity' ..only with words?

Answer: the same ppl who believe in wishing wells and unicorns and pink elephants and UFOs and rukhs and flying carpets and computer viruses..right?

wrong!

heretofore i regarded computer viruses as convenient alibis employed when things went wrong (a sort of hi-tech "dog ate my homework" excuse), but I recently learned in *the* most unpleasant way possible that they're all too real..alhamdulillaah now that we are suitably outfitted with the latest anti-virus and antispyware zappers..prepare for an avalanche of pent up posts in shaa Allaah..

watch this space!!

story of our lives

brb ..

editor's nightmare: another reason not to ask someone to be your 'walentine'

To ladies and gentlemen who are not in the habit of devoting themselves practically to the science of penmanship, writing a letter is no very easy task; it being always considered necessary in such cases for the writer to recline his head on his left arm, so as to place his eyes as nearly as possible on a level with the paper, and, while glancing sideways at the letters he is constructing, to form with his tongue imaginary characters to correspond.

These motions, although unquestionably of the greatest assistance to original composition, retard in some degree the progress of the writer; and Sam had unconsciously been a full hour and a half writing words in small text, smearing out wrong letters with his little finger, and putting in new ones which required going over very often to render them visible through the old blots, when he was roused by the opening of the door and the entrance of his parent.

'Vell, Sammy,' said the father.
'Vell, my Prooshan Blue,' responded the son, laying down his pen.
'What's the last bulletin about mother-in-law?'
'Mrs. Veller passed a very good night, but is uncommon perwerse, and unpleasant this mornin'. Signed upon oath, Tony Veller, Esquire. That's the last vun as was issued, Sammy,' replied Mr. Weller, untying his shawl.
'No better yet?' inquired Sam.
'All the symptoms aggerawated,' replied Mr. Weller, shaking his head.
'But wot's that, you're a-doin' of? Pursuit of knowledge under difficulties, Sammy?'
'I've done now,' said Sam, with slight embarrassment; 'I've been a-writin'.'
'So I see,' replied Mr. Weller. 'Not to any young 'ooman, I hope, Sammy?'
'Why, it's no use a-sayin' it ain't,' replied Sam; 'it's a walentine.'
'A what!' exclaimed Mr. Weller, apparently horror-stricken by the word.
'A walentine,' replied Sam.
'Samivel, Samivel,' said Mr. Weller, in reproachful accents, 'I didn't think you'd ha' done it. Arter the warnin' you've had o' your father's wicious propensities; arter all I've said to you upon this here wery subject; arter actiwally seein' and bein' in the company o' your own mother-in-law, vich I should ha' thought wos a moral lesson as no man could never ha' forgotten to his dyin' day! I didn't think you'd ha' done it, Sammy, I didn't think you'd ha' done it!'

These reflections were too much for the good old man. He raised Sam's tumbler to his lips and drank off its contents.

'Wot's the matter now?' said Sam. 'Nev'r mind, Sammy,' replied Mr. Weller, 'it'll be a wery agonisin' trial to me at my time of life, but I'm pretty tough, that's vun consolation, as the wery old turkey remarked wen the farmer said he wos afeerd he should be obliged to kill him for the London market.'
'Wot'll be a trial?' inquired Sam.
'To see you married, Sammy--to see you a dilluded wictim, and thinkin' in your innocence that it's all wery capital,' replied Mr. Weller.
'It's a dreadful trial to a father's feelin's, that 'ere, Sammy--'
'Nonsense,' said Sam. 'I ain't a-goin' to get married, don't you fret yourself about that; I know you're a judge of these things. Order in your pipe and I'll read you the letter. There!'

We cannot distinctly say whether it was the prospect of the pipe, or the consolatory reflection that a fatal disposition to get married ran in the family, and couldn't be helped, which calmed Mr. Weller's feelings, and caused his grief to subside. We should be rather disposed to say that the result was attained by combining the two sources of consolation, for he repeated the second in a low tone, very frequently; ringing the bell meanwhile, to order in the first. He then divested himself of his upper coat; and lighting the pipe and placing himself in front of the fire with his back towards it, so that he could feel its full heat, and recline against the mantel-piece at the same time, turned towards Sam, and, with a countenance greatly mollified by the softening influence of tobacco, requested him to 'fire away.'

Sam dipped his pen into the ink to be ready for any corrections, and began with a very theatrical air--

'"Lovely--"'
'Stop,' said Mr. Weller, ringing the bell. 'A double glass o' the inwariable, my dear.'
'Very well, Sir,' replied the girl; who with great quickness appeared, vanished, returned, and disappeared.
'They seem to know your ways here,' observed Sam. 'Yes,' replied his father,
'I've been here before, in my time. Go on, Sammy.'

'"Lovely creetur,"' repeated Sam. '
'Tain't in poetry, is it?' interposed his father.
'No, no,' replied Sam.
'Wery glad to hear it,' said Mr. Weller. 'Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin'-day, or Warren's blackin', or Rowland's oil, or some of them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy. Begin agin, Sammy.'
Mr. Weller resumed his pipe with critical solemnity, and Sam once more commenced, and read as follows: '"Lovely creetur I feel myself a damned--"'
'That ain't proper,' said Mr. Weller, taking his pipe from his mouth.
'No; it ain't "damned,"' observed Sam, holding the letter up to the light, 'it's "shamed," there's a blot there--"I feel myself ashamed."'
'Wery good,' said Mr. Weller. 'Go on.' '
"Feel myself ashamed, and completely cir--' I forget what this here word is,' said Sam, scratching his head with the pen, in vain attempts to remember.
'Why don't you look at it, then?' inquired Mr. Weller.
'So I am a-lookin' at it,' replied Sam, 'but there's another blot. Here's a "c," and a "i," and a "d."'
'Circumwented, p'raps,' suggested Mr. Weller.
'No, it ain't that,' said Sam, '"circumscribed"; that's it.' 'That ain't as good a word as "circumwented," Sammy,' said Mr. Weller gravely.
'Think not?' said Sam.
'Nothin' like it,' replied his father.
'But don't you think it means more?' inquired Sam.
'Vell p'raps it's a more tenderer word,' said Mr. Weller, after a few moments' reflection. 'Go on, Sammy.'

'"Feel myself ashamed and completely circumscribed in a- dressin' of you, for you are a nice gal and nothin' but it."' 'That's a wery pretty sentiment,' said the elder Mr. Weller, removing his pipe to make way for the remark.
'Yes, I think it is rayther good,' observed Sam, highly flattered.
'Wot I like in that 'ere style of writin',' said the elder Mr. Weller, 'is, that there ain't no callin' names in it--no Wenuses, nor nothin' o' that kind. Wot's the good o' callin' a young 'ooman a Wenus or a angel, Sammy?'
'Ah! what, indeed?' replied Sam. 'You might jist as well call her a griffin, or a unicorn, or a king's arms at once, which is wery well known to be a collection o' fabulous animals,' added Mr. Weller.
'Just as well,' replied Sam.
'Drive on, Sammy,' said Mr. Weller.
Sam complied with the request, and proceeded as follows; his father continuing to smoke, with a mixed expression of wisdom and complacency, which was particularly edifying.

'"Afore I see you, I thought all women was alike."'
'So they are,' observed the elder Mr. Weller parenthetically. '"But now,"' continued Sam, '"now I find what a reg'lar soft- headed, inkred'lous turnip I must ha' been; for there ain't nobody like you, though I like you better than nothin' at all." I thought it best to make that rayther strong,' said Sam, looking up.

Mr. Weller nodded approvingly, and Sam resumed.
'"So I take the privilidge of the day, Mary, my dear--as the gen'l'm'n in difficulties did, ven he valked out of a Sunday--to tell you that the first and only time I see you, your likeness was took on my hart in much quicker time and brighter colours than ever a likeness was took by the profeel macheen (wich p'raps you may have heerd on Mary my dear) altho it DOES finish a portrait and put the frame and glass on complete, with a hook at the end to hang it up by, and all in two minutes and a quarter."'

'I am afeerd that werges on the poetical, Sammy,' said Mr. Weller dubiously.
'No, it don't,' replied Sam, reading on very quickly, to avoid contesting the point-- '"Except of me Mary my dear as your walentine and think over what I've said.--My dear Mary I will now conclude." That's all,' said Sam.

'That's rather a Sudden pull-up, ain't it, Sammy?' inquired Mr. Weller.
'Not a bit on it,' said Sam; 'she'll vish there wos more, and that's the great art o' letter-writin'.'

[The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens]

from times square to jarir bookstore

some years ago when Abu R-R and I were struggling (in every sense of the word) with college and jobs and our new responsibilities as spouses and parents, we lived in a little town that had four intersecting roads at its centre..this square was lined by designer shops and chic restaurants and icecream parlours that had the latest flavours ...and a little bookshop where we bought our weekend copy of The Times, and so we called it Times Square ..

Each time I'd go in the bookshop and inhale the scent of fresh ink on crisp paper, it'd be like the kid with nose pressed against the glass of a candy store counter, and I'd promise myself that if we ever had more than barely-enough money, the only extravagance I'd allow myself would be sadaqah and books..

since then, alhamdulillaah, we've been overwhelmed by Allaah's favours (including some very high maintenance ones j/k) and I haven't nearly been as extravagant as I'd like..except last week, when in a grown-up version of a kid going crazy in a candy store, I went berserk at Jarir bookstore and picked up all the books I'd ever wanted ...and then some..alhamdulillaah 'alaa ne'aam

to the person who wrote and asked when we'll post again, just as soon we finish the books we've started:

Purification of the Soul/Jamal Zarabozo

My Story/Dave Pelzer's trilogy

Evolution of Fiqh/Bilal Philips (re-read)

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man/James Joyce

Out of Place/Edward Said's childhood memoirs
Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, Tom Brown's Schooldays and Nancy Drew (21st century avatar)

excuse us, while we indulge..

more good news and bad news..

the good news is that thanks to the timely intervention of a friend, who helped us set up this blog and has the password to the dashboard, we were spared the latest edition of sick spam on the guestbook..the bad news is that since the spam ran into several pages, it was easier to simply remove the guestbook than go through all those sickening messages and delete each one..

we valued that guestbook and we're really sad that it had to be taken off.. it gave us the motivation to post ..and it had some wonderful messages from the inception of this blog..and it was our only way to get feedback since the comments had been disabled on this blog earlier for the same reason..

we're sad for the people who harbour such sickness in their spirit..and we're sorry for the people who have to deal with such sickness everyday..may Allaah guide us all..

the good news is that we still have the e-mail open ..stay in touch!

Say No!

there's good news and bad news..

the good news is that R-R's exams are over...the bad news is that they've got another exam, in less than a month

..the good news is that they got 50/50 in Qur'aan and Iqtisaad al Manzilee , alhamdulillaah ..the bad news is that they got less than perfect marks in Maths (they'll kill me if i put their marks up)

..the good news is that we're going to our favourite place on earth this weekend..the bad news is that we won't be here for a couple of days so regular transmission is going to be interrupted..