I'm Ok, You're (insert alien nationality)

It is not surprising that the Ministry of Education is
having difficulty integrating children with disabilities into regular schools (Nov. 21) given the widespread lack of acceptance by young people of anything even slightly different — language, hair or skin color, size, shape or anything else.

While I know many wonderful Saudis, I have also known many people with closed minds, steeped in tribalism and nationalism. They judge others in a skewed way. This, let me add, is not anything peculiar to the Kingdom. Every
society has its lot of ignorant and distasteful people.

My son, who has European and Latin ancestry, does not have the “straight up white Euro/American look”. In fact, he looks like an Arab. Even so he had to take his licks in
school over the years. First, it was a tiny birthmark on his forehead. “Hindi”, one exclaimed. It was his curly hair that some objected to; others just didn’t like his “American” nationality. All of this in a good, religiously oriented private Arab school.

I dealt with these episodes and had good support from the school and now my son is a “full member” of the school and friends with all his classmates. We learned early on that the main tormentor’s mother had found these racially oriented taunts and teases amusing. Intense tribalism and
associated narrow mindedness and arrogance prevent many people from accepting those outside their perception of the “norm.”

For this reason, I doubt that integrating disabled youngsters in public schools will work anytime soon.
It is a question of attitude that springs from the belief that everything different from one’s own is inferior and fair game for insult. It is the same attitude that a child of 7 or 8 shows when he jumps the line at the grocery
checkout and yells, “Ya sadeeque, kum hadha.”

With these attitudes and behavior, a disabled child in a school can become an easy mark for fun and amusement by those who have not been taught about compassion for others

-- letter in Arab News

Yesterday, I was going over sentence-construction with my son (preparing for an annual exam held by the BCL) in which he was supposed to complete a sentence I started.

I said: "I am a...."

He said: "...ajnabee" [literally stranger..in localspeak, a derogatory pejorative used to club all non-nationals together]

He could've said Muslim/ boy/happy person..or any number of other things..

the fact that he chose to identify himself with a word others probably file him under, made me wonder if the benefits of living here really outweigh the heartache and the possibility of having ones kids acquire an "I 'm not Ok-You're Ok" attitude from being around sooooooo many others who think: "I'm Okay..You're Alien"

whatever happened to innaa akramakum indallaah atqaakum?

7 daughters, 2 sons, infinite effort

...aka what a mother can do for her family (even if she only studied upto middle school)

and the other end of the spectrum..mums who give their kids everything they want, because they can't afford to give them what they need: time with Mum.

the outsider/ajnabee

MINORITY

I was born a foreigner.
I carried on from there
to become a foreigner everywhere

I went, even in the place
planted with my relatives,
six-foot tubers sprouting roots,
their fingers and faces pushing up
new shoots of maize and sugar cane.

All kinds of places and groups
of people who have an admirable
history would, almost certainly,
distance themselves from me.

I don’t fit,
like a clumsily-translated poem;
like food cooked in milk of coconut
where you expected ghee or cream,
the unexpected aftertaste
of cardamom or neem.

There’s always that point where
the language flips
into an unfamiliar taste;
where words tumble over
a cunning tripwire on the tongue;

where the frame slips,
the reception of an image
not quite tuned, ghost-outlined,
that signals, in their midst,
an alien.

And so I scratch, scratch
through the night, at this
growing scab on black on white.
Everyone has the right
to infiltrate a piece of paper.
A page doesn’t fight back.

And, who knows, these lines
may scratch their way
into your head –
through all the chatter of community,
family, clattering spoons,
children being fed –
immigrate into your bed,
squat in your home,
and in a corner, eat your bread,
until, one day, you meet
the stranger sidling down your street,
realise you know the face
simplified to bone,
look into its outcast eyes
and recognise it as your own.

--Imtiaz Dharker [Postcards from God]

"What makes you cry..?"

In a while, the real post, but first: a huge alhamdulillaah for shared blessings..

while R-R and I were looking up stuff, writing notes and translating bits of Arabic books to English while working on our project, I thought about the enormous blessing that shared faith is..how many people have been tried by their families ..ostracised, discouraged, ridiculed for becoming Muslim (or trying to be a better one)

I thought of Abu Hurayrah..

Abu Hurayrah stayed in Tihamah for several years and it was only at the beginning of the seventh year of the Hijrah that he arrived in Madinah with others of his tribe. The Prophet had gone on a campaign to Khaybar.

Being destitute, Abu Hurayrah took up his place in the Masjid with other of the Ahl as-Suffah. He was single, without wife or child. With him however was his mother who was still a mushrik. He longed and prayed, for her to become a Muslim but she adamantly refused. One day, he invited her to have faith in God alone and follow His Prophet but she uttered some words about the Prophet which saddened him greatly.

With tears in his eyes, he went to the noble Prophet who said to him: "What makes you cry, O Abu Hurayrah?" "I have not let up in inviting my mother to Islam but she has always rebuffed me. Today, I invited her again and I heard words from her which I do not like. Do make supplication to God Almighty to make the heart of Abu Hurayrah's mother incline to Islam."

The Prophet responded to Abu Hurayrah's request and prayed for his mother. Abu Hurayrah said: "I went home and found the door closed. I heard the splashing of water and when I tried to enter my mother said: "Stay where you are, O Abu Hurayrah." And after putting on her clothes, she said, "Enter!" I entered and she said: "I testify that there is no god but Allah and I testify that Muhammad is His Servant and His Messenger."

"I returned to the Prophet, peace be on him, weeping with joy just as an hour before I had gone weeping from sadness and said: "I have good news, O Messenger of Allah. God has responded to your prayer and guided the mother of Abu Hurayrah to Islam.

I thought of Mus'aab bin Umayr whose mother swore "by the stars" that she would never accept Islaam and had him chained in a corner of the house to prevent him from pursuing his faith...

I thought of the Qur'aysh who prevented newcomers to Makkah from hearing the Prophet's sall Allaahu 'alayhi wassallam message and charged him with practising "a magical eloquence" that could turn a man against his family and his tribe within a few minutes..

I thought of Nooh 'alayhi salaam desperately trying to convince his son to get onto the ark when the skies and earth opened forth their waters:

"O my son! embark with us, and be not with the unbelievers!"

The son replied: "I will betake myself to some mountain: It will save me from the water."

Noah said: "This day nothing can save from the Command of Allaah, any but those upon whom He has mercy!"

And the waves came between them, and the son was among those who were drowned

Then the word went forth: O earth swallow up your water and O sky withhold (your rain)..and the water abated and the matter was ended, The Ark rested on Mount Judi and the Word went forth: Away with those who do wrong!"

And Noah called upon his Lord and said: O my LOrd, surely my son is of my family, and Your Promise is true, and you are the Most Just of Judges..

He said: O Noah! he is not of your family for his conduct is unrighteous, so ask not Me of that which you have no knowledge..I give you counsel lest you become of the ignorants!"

11: 42-47

I thought of the countless reverts who are literally left out in the rain ..left vulnerable and lonely without any ties just because they had a change of heart and faith..

subhaanallah, I know of reverts who said their families would have not only accepted them, but would've even supported them if they'd had a change of sexual orientation or had taken a life-changing career decision...but not this, never this...

May Allaah make our children and families the coolness of our eyes, not a source of conflict in our deeyn...may Allaah never try us with that which we cannot bear..and may He ease the suffering of all those in trials of their faith.

Aameen.

in search of sidq

"Tell me about al Hasan of Basra, I think you know him best"

"May Allaah protect you, I am the best to give you information about him, for I am his neighbour and friend and I am the most knowledgeable person about him"

"Then, tell me what you know.."

"He is a man whose outside is like his inside, whose words are like his actions. When he tells people to do something good,he is the first to do it; and when he advises others not to do something, he is the first to shun it..."

***

If you've ever been part of an Islaamic project you'll probably remember/recognize/relate to this scenario: A group of like-minded people come together with a good intention -- to gain closeness to Allaah by doing a good deed. It could be anything...organizing a halaqa, running a school or a charitable institution..whatever..

As time passes, we notice that things aren't the way they were when we'd started out..there's bickering and blaming and general negativity ..until we wonder: where's the barakah ?

it's a coup of sorts for Shaytaan when he uses our good intentions and deeds to undermine our hasanaat.. while we're too busy patting ourselves on the back for a job well done or looking over our shoulder to see if others are "catching up", the barakah slips quietly out of the door, unnoticed.

it's shaytaan's finest hour when he deludes us that we're working to please Allaah when we're actually seeking to please only Our Selves.. by self-aggrandisement or self-gratification..

and it is from shayateen like these that we seek refuge in Allaah as we begin our 'Children in the Qur'aan' posts..our little effort in search of sidq in our lives...

we'll be enabling comments for these posts and will be truly grateful for any input/insight/encouragement/constructive criticism

May Allaah make us of the 'aamileen, not just the mutakallimeen.

aameen.

Important Announcement

*clears throat*
Ed: okay, so someone cough*abu-R-R*cough has objected to the excessive monkeying around (no pun) that has been going on here in the absence of pro-active Editorial supervision [and sometimes in active collaboration with..*hangs head*] and has urged us to get our blog back on track with some beneficial stuff (or else...)

so here goes:

R-R and R cordially invite all blog readers to join them in a study of "Children in The Qur'aan"

a chapter-wise exploration of references to children in the Qur'aan and the lessons to be learnt from them

in shaa Allaah.

PS:

It's not as daunting or dull as it sounds..there'll be real-life stories, tafseer, stories from Islaamic history..good stuff in shaa Allaah ...it's something we've been meaning to do anyway (the threat of being grounded just precipitated the process ;))

normal transmission (minus the goofiness of the past few days) newscasts, updates will continue as usual..

stay tuned and enjoy!

Guess Who???????

Who's Who..in R Family Zoo

[Disclaimer: All resemblance to real people and personalities is purely coincidental ;)]

as you go through life you see

there is so much that we,

don't understand

and the only thing we know

is that things don't always go,

the way we planned.

But you'll see everyday,

that we'll never turn away

when it seems all your dreams come undone

We will stand by your side

Filled with hope and filled with pride

We are more than we are,

WE 'R' One

if there's so much i must be

can I still just be me, the way I am?

can I trust in my own heart

or am I just one part,

of some big plan?

even those who are gone

are with us as we go on,

your journey has only begun

tears of pain, tears of joy

one thing nothing can destroy

is our pride deep inside,

We are One

We are one, you and I

We are like the earth and sky

One family under the sun

All the wisdom to lead

All the courage that you need

You will find when you see

We R One.

The Boy who was a Partridge

Once upon some years ago, a little boy came into the world three and a half weeks before his family was expecting him. His family was waiting in the little green car for their mum to come out of the doctor's clinic to go and eat chicken tikka and drink soup. Instead, they were called in to see the newest member of their family. The soup would have to wait.

"Who does he look like?" they wondered.
He had damp hair and bright eyes and was utterly "lacking in big-ness."
"He looks like a partridge!!"
And so he did..a little wet bird masquerading as a tiny human being.

The aunties who came to see him tucked currency notes between the fierce clutch of his fingers and whispered to his mother in a complimentary way: But he doesn't look a bit like any of you..who does he look like?"
His grandmum fed the little partridge porridge and pistachios and told his mum: You wait and see..he'll be the best of the lot in shaa Allaah..

And so the little partridge grew..(he had skin trouble and a week in the ICU before he was one year old) but he grew and became a ...parrot. Yes, I know it sounds strange, but it's true.
He talked and talked and talked and talked ..until everyone told him: Would you please be quiet only for 60 seconds..look here's thewatch..

One day he was talking to his Mum and he asked her: Why doesn't Abba have a silver car? I like silver cars, I don't like white ones..
So his Mum said, maybe he'll get one in shaa Allaah, silver cars cost a lot of money
So he said, when I grow up in shaa Allaah, I'll be a rich man and have a big house with lots of children and I'll buy a silver car for myself and a golden car for Abba and a red car for you...

This post is to remind everyone to say a prayer for my dutiful little son if you see me driving a snazzyred car two decades from now, inshaaAllaah..(because Abba already has his silver car).

May the road be long and smooth and straight for you. Aameen.

very funny

Babies and Restaurants are the Chernobyl of Parenting

Dave Barry

If you’re a new parent, there will come a time when either you or your spouse will say these words:
“Let’s take the baby to a restaurant!”
Now, to a normal, sane person, this statement is absurd. It’s like saying: “Let’s take a moose to the opera!”
But neither you nor your spouse will see anything inappropriate about the idea of taking your baby to a restaurant. This is because, as new parents, you are experiencing a magical period of wonder, joy and possibility that has made you really stupid.

You are not alone: All new parents undergo a sharp drop in intelligence. It’s nature’s way of enabling them to form an emotional bond with a tiny human who relates with other humans exclusively by spitting up on them. Even very smart parents are affected, as we see from these two quotations:
Albert Einstein Shortly Before The Birth Of His Son: “To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms — this knowledge, this feeling, is at the center of true religiousness.”
Albert Einstein Shortly After The Birth Of His Son: “Daddy’s gonna EAT THESE WIDDLE TOES!”

After a month or so of bonding with their baby, the typical parents have the combined IQ of a charcoal briquette. This is when they decide it’s OK to take the baby to a restaurant. I know what I’m talking about: My wife and I have a baby daughter, and we have repeatedly taken her to restaurants, even though by now experience should have taught us that it would be far more pleasant and relaxing for us to stay home and play tic-tac-toe on our foreheads with a soldering iron.
But we cannot help ourselves, and neither can you, if you’re a new parent. That’s why today I’m presenting these Helpful Tips For Dining Out With A Baby..

click here to read the complete article

MCQs R Us :)

calling all Brits (and wannabes) to test their Britishness Quotient:
mirror mirror on the wall, Who's the Brittest Brit of all?

1. Who is the "Ben" in the "Big Ben"?

a. Benjamin Franklin

b. Benjamin Hillman

c. Benjamin Hill

2. Who was executed in the Tower of LOndon?

a. Guy Fawkes

b. Anne Boleyn

c. Henry the Third

3. What's Dover famous for?

a. The Roman Painted Room

b. The Marble Hills

c. The Chalk Cliffs

4. Which medieval town in England is named after food?

a. Pudding

b. Sandwich

c. Peach

5. What (according to Robin Cook) is "Britain's true national dish"?

a. fish n chips

b. suet pudding and lamb pie

c. CTM

6. Would Prime Minister Tony Blair pass HardSpell if he were asked to spell "toomorrow"?

a. Yes

b. No

7. What's the meaning of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?

a. stiff upper lip

b. well said, sir

c. it's a word you use when you run out of words to use

8. Who was the first British sovereign to live in the Buckingham Palace?

a. Queen Elizabeth

b. Queen Victoria

c. King Edward

9. In which language has David Beckham tattooed his wife's name on his arm?

a. English

b. Hindi

c. Spanish

10. Who designed the first tube map ?
a. Julian Lloyd Webber

b. Harry Beck

c.Edward Johnstone

would you pass the Britishness Test?

By Simon Freeman

It will take more than a passing acquaintance with the thwack of leather on willow to win the right to British citizenship.

The Home Office today released a sample of the questions which will feature in the multiple-choice "Britishness" tests from tomorrow. The Times Online has reproduced a selection of these, and included its own answer where none was provided.

1) Where are Geordie, Cockney, and Scouse spoken?
2) What are MPs?
3) What is the Church of England and who is its head?
4) What is the Queen’s official role and what ceremonial duties does she have?
5) Do many children live in single parent families or step-families?
6) Which two telephone numbers can be used to dial the emergency services?
112, 123, 555, 999.
7) Which of these courts uses a jury system?
Magistrates’ Court, Crown Court, Youth Court or County Court.
8) Your employer can dismiss you for joining a trade union. True or false?
9) Which of these statements is correct?
A television licence is required for each television in a home
A single television licence covers all televisions in a home.

ًWhat's the مصدر of ملاهي?

Yesterday we were watching this programme on tv called Ahlan Ahlan, and on it there were lots of children being asked what they liked best about Eid, and most of them said : ملاهي
Abba asked us: what's the root word of malaahi?
R-R: we don't know..
so he said: لهو
it seemed a little shocking to hear it like that..that what most people enjoy the most on Eid is what we've been warned against wasting our time and lives with!!

no fasting please, we're feasting

Fasting: The Voluntary Way

Adil Salahi, Arab News

I was once visiting some people on the second day of Eid Al-Fitr (i.e. the feast that follows Ramadan) when one of the guests started criticizing people who fast on the second and third days of the Eid, accusing many of them of showing off.

The main point in his argument was that if people wanted to do voluntary fasting, they should not go around visiting others to congratulate them on the occasion of the Eid, because they are bound to tell of their fasting as they will have to decline their hosts’ hospitality. They should either stay at home or at least delay fasting until the Eid is over.

It is well known that we are strongly recommended by the Prophet (peace be upon him) to fast six days after Ramadan. It is the considered opinion of the overwhelming majority of scholars that there is no restriction on which days one chooses to fast. Most people believe that these six days should be in the month of Shawwal, which follows Ramadan, but many scholars consider that this is not necessary, and these six days could be spread over the rest of the year, with no need to make them consecutive. One or two reports, however, advise that these should be in Shawwal, beginning on the second day of the Eid, and should be consecutive. These reports are totally lacking in authenticity and should be discounted. The weightier view is that any six days, chosen at any time throughout the following year, with the exception of the first day of Eid Al-Fitr and the four days of Eid Al-Adha, are equally good.
Our friend’s criticism is sound on the point of visiting people during the Eid and fasting at the same time. People are bound to offer some hospitality: A cool drink, coffee, sweets, etc. A fasting person will apologize to his hosts time after time, until they realize that he is fasting, even though he may not explicitly say so. Thus he publicizes an act of worship that he is better advised to keep secret. As it is the case with all voluntary worship, fasting outside the month of Ramadan is better kept private, an affair between oneself and God.

Ed input: True Story

okay so there's this sister X, whose family was invited to an outdoorsy outing out with another group of families barbecuing chicken, drinking chai made on wooden logs in a metal kettle..see (it's some ppl's idea of fun)?

not wanting to appear pi to a mixed group of acquaintances and strangers, she decides not to fast inspite of it being a Thursday. anyway, to cut a long story short, the group kept getting delayed for a variety of reasons ( someone's car got a flat..someone's kid didn't get dressed on time..) and they left home after asr instead of before dhuhr as scheduled.

by the time they reached the picnic spot and tried to light the springshower-damp coals and logs, it was nearly maghrib...sister X sees the sun going down behind the misty blue hills and thinks of the millions of people who have kept this Thursday's fast , and will beidhnillaah, be receiving 'ajr from Allaah from it and feels miserable.

"what's the matter, why're you looking so down..are you feeling hungry?" a kind lady asks her.

Moral Of the Story: If there's an either/or choice between pleasing people or oneself and Allaah, always choose Allaah.

* makes mental note*

none the verse for it

This year on our Eid rounds,
I found my thoughts (like blood hounds)
running loose through faces...

..in search of a furrow, behind a smooth brow
..an eye-mist, behind the coloured eye-lens
..a wince, behind the polished plastic skin

Nothing!

where do people tuck away emotion
(like litter or placeless things)
under carpets?
under the bed?
in the family skeleton's cupboard?
when others visit?

am I the only one in my circle-cage
who never forgets the face
of loved ones in detention?
of young ones killed by stray bullets?
of families trekking uphill
in snow-brown mountains
with nothing to guard against the chill
except tomorrow's sun?

it's a pity

we only feel really sorry

for Our Selves.

in Him we place our trust

Palestinian Donates Slain Kid Parts for Israeli Children

RAMALLAH, November 6, 2005
(IslamOnline.net & News Agencies) – The grieving family of a 12-year-old Palestinian child, who died Saturday, November 5, of Israeli wounds, have donated his body parts to save the lives of Israeli children.
"Despite the pain, (the family) made a very courageous decision," Mostafa Haboub, the uncle of slain Ahmed Al-Khatib, told the Israeli Television, reported the Voice of America on its Web site.
"This is part of our culture," he said.
"As Muslims we can tell the world that we are not terrorists," added the distressed uncle.

Khatib was shot by Israeli occupation forces on Thursday, the first day of `Eid Al-Fitr, which marks the end of the holy fasting month of Ramadan, in the northern West Bank town of Jenin.
He was taken to hospital in northern Israel with serious head and stomach wounds and breathed his last Saturday.
Following an initial inquiry, the Israeli army said soldiers mistook the toy gun the boy was brandishing for the real thing. Only later did they discover the weapon was plastic.

Khatib's death brings to 4,877 the number of people killed since the start of Al-Aqsa Intifada, mostly Palestinians.

"I did not expect the `Eid gift to be a bullet by the Israelis," the child's grieving father, Ismail, told the Palestinian news agency (WAFA), fighting back his tears.He refuted the Israeli claim that the child carried a toy gun, asserting his son carried no toys."He has not bought any toy yet before his killing," said the father, adding he found all the money his son got in his pocket.
"The Israeli soldiers shot my son in the waist, he fall on the ground, when he tried to stand again, they shot him in the head," Ismail said.

He accused the Israeli forces of perpetrating a war crime, appealing for the Israeli Knesset and rights advocates to unravel the truth in his son's murder case.

Ismail, nonetheless, decided to donate his slain son's heart, lung, kidneys and liver to save Jewish lives, said the Voice of America.
"Israeli children are our children…We are doing this because we believe in peace."

innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji'oon..this is sad beyond words
In Allaah Alone we place our trust, He is the Best Protector, the Best Help

May Allaah accept!!!

تقبل الله منا ومنكم

May Allaah accept from us!

PS: Look up interesting info and free henna patterns at The Henna Page