grandparents are non-renewable resources

there are some things without which life wouldn't be life as we know it...

Nanu, you're the fossil fuel in our lives [...and not nearly as old ;)]

Ode to a *great* GrandMum

September is the month in which R-R's maternal grandmum was born, not just grandmum, but as R-R like to say: *great * grandmum.

Actually, Nanu's been one of the girls for so long, it's weird to think of her as being a grandmum..and truth to tell, there's nothing grandmummy about her at all..she still reads Famous Five and munches chips and plans midnight feasts and whispers late into the night ...

..the only time Nanu acts likes a grandmum is when she exercises The Veto that only grandmums and superpowers have... dismissing all disapproving parental cluck-clucks with an imperious wave of her hand, to do as she likes (which just coincidentally happens to be whatever R-R like)

She'll book us a dinner at the fanciest eating joint in town..or a plane trip ..or a shopping orgy where, (besides splurging on the dishiest designer stuff for R-R) she'll buy the kids everything they ask for ..yes, e-v-e-r-y thing they ask for..[and I have shelves upon shelves of unusable sewingmachines and walkietalkies and beadedbags and stickersets to prove it].

September is also the month in which we lost R-R's paternal grandmother..who loved them dearly, who altered R-R's clothes for them a night before Eid and knitted them their first sweaters and taught me how to massage and bathe them when they were this small...

Somehow, it seems fitting to mention this here.

The time we have here on earth with our loved ones is limited: with a beginning and an end...that's what makes it so precious...that's what makes the struggle for jannah,where people will be with the ones they love for ever, so urgent.

Paigephobia: the irrational fear of 'Paige'

23 September 2005
TEACHERS NAME KIDS THEY FEAR
By Vanessa Allen
CHILDREN called Liam, Paige and Chloe are likely to be troublemakers at school, according to teachers.
Kayleigh, Connor, Ashley and Kane are also names they dread to see on their register, claim entries on an online teachers' discussion board.
One teacher wrote, "Kayleighs have always been a pain", while another said: "Chantelles are the spawn of the Devil. Kyle is too."
Another entry read: "I have never met a Chloe that didn't have a nasty, spiteful streak. Jordan is usually pretty bad for a girl."
Others said Poppys are hyperactive while Ryans are always "an uphill struggle". The website forum has angered parents who say it amounts to bullying or racism, as many of the names are common in Irish or Afro-Caribbean communities.
The list on the Times Educational Supplement website began on September 9 when a teacher wrote: "I got my new class lists and mentally circled the ones I thought would be difficult.

"What is that name which inspires the most dread?
'Paige'."

The comment was quickly taken up by other teachers, with suggestions ranging from Bobbi-Jo to Troy and Chardonnay.
One especially strong entry ran: "Josh by a wide mile. Always an arrogant, nasty, selfish git."
Other names which allegedly suggested trouble included Mason, Bradley, Kyle and Ashley for boys and Jessica and Alisha for girls.
The teachers' comments were claimed to be light-hearted but a parent wrote: "I'm appalled. If this is what my children will face I might as well home educate."
The Department for Education and Skills said: "It is for the TES to moderate its website and ensure it is used in a responsible way.
"Giving a child's full name would amount to misconduct."

innaa hud'Allaahi huwal hudaa

A madrassa board in India is considering the inclusion of a chapter on the life of teenage tennis-player Sania Mirza as a role-model for Muslim girls in their new curriculum..

..makes me sad ..because she epitomizes a lost da'wah-op and reflects the near-total bankruptcy of the subcontinent when it comes to mainstream shariah-compliant role models..may Allaah guide us all to that which pleases Him.

..wonder who's next..Hammasa Kohistani?

PS: jazaakumullaah khayr to all the ppl who posted on the guestbook/mailed us ..[for some strange reason our own guestbk won't let me post in it..each time I try it says: you have just posted a msg pls try again after a few minuttes (sic)]..

jazaakumullaah for taking the time to write us and for your duaas..pls keep up the prayers..I've seen too many children of well-intentioned parents grow up horribly wrong, to assume that just because we hv good intentions, life will be a breeze for R-R...in Allaah alone we place our trust.

..also this is the time to remind myself that our children are *so* not our children, they are Allaah's amaanah; I can give them nothing, no thing ,except that which Allaah wills -- and He is the Creator/Bestower of all gifts: from genes to guidance.

The Ghosts of Shab-baraat

The Night of Innocence

When I was a child, the halwaa-plates would tell me when it was the 15th of Shaabaan.
Diamonds, squares and mounds of halwaa covered with silver foil made its way to our house, dropped in by the servants or children of neighbours and acquaintances, who stood shyly in the doorway waiting for us to return their plates. The plates were always returned empty. And the halwaa was given away.

We [our extended paternal family] never celebrated any eid other than the eidayn [alhamdulillaah], which is why I used to be perplexed [and slightly embarrassed] by my family's refusal to participate in what was evidently a big night in the community.
The smell of halwaa and incense wafted in from our neighbours' houses, men dug out moth-eaten skull caps from iron trunks and headed to the graveyard after 'ishaa prayers, excited boys ran around carrying candles and fireworks, and green streamers were hung from doorways.. the enormous moon looked suitably solemn.
It was all so Ramadaan-ish..why weren't we a part of it?

The widowed woman who came to wash our dishes and cook our chapatis wouldn't come to work that evening. She lived right behind our house and I could see her getting her five sons ready to go out, by the light of an old oil-lamp; in their crisp white pyjamas and carrying wreaths of white scented flowers, they were going to the graveyard where their father lay buried. The woman and her daughter stayed behind, counting tamarind seeds in the moonlit lamplight.

I had to go over to see what they were doing..they gestured to a plate of diamond halwaa, asking me to take some and sit down; not interrupting whatever they were reading. The dung walls of their house were newly whitewashed and smelt of mogra and incense.

"There.. finished..the faatihaa said 1,25,000 times.."
"Your ammi didn't make any halwaa today?"
"umm...no.."
"Your daddy's not going to the graveyard?"
"mmm..no"
"You're not doing the khatam in your house ?"
"mnnnno"

"See, Ammi ..NeighbourX was right..she was telling me that these people aren't like us..they're wahhabis," the girl said to her mother; who shushed her with a warning look, she needed to work at our place.

"So what are you doing anyway?" I asked, feeling bolder now that my different-ness had a name.

"You don't know? Today's shab-baraat..see there's this tree in jannah whose leaves have the names of all the people in the world...and the people whose leaves fall tonight will die this year."

A cold winter wind swirled around my heart..what if my leaf fell tonight...or worse ..that of one of my parents?

"And all the souls of dead people are returned to their graves just for tonight..and they wait there to see if their family remembers them..So if someone goes and reads faatihaa or lights a candle or leaves flowers by the grave, the people know that their family remembers them.." the woman's eyes were wet with memory.

"But if no one goes to visit the grave, then the dead person's soul starts wandering around until it finds out where their family is.." the daughter added.

"That's why we clean our houses and make halwaa and read faatihaa so that if the dead person comes home they'll know that their family is well and they can rest in peace for another year."

Suddenly the shadows between my house and theirs looked darker.

"Do you think your boys have reached the graveyard and lit the candle by now?" I asked.
"Do you think your children's dead father is on his way home to check if you are alright," I left unasked.

"They said they'll be going to their Uncle's house first..you know the one whose eldest son died in an accident last month..he used to love this moong-ka-halwaa ..He'd eat it by the plateful when he came over on last shab-baraat..and now his poor mother is reading faatihaa over him.."

It must have been a trick of the lamplit moonlight, but when I glanced over to the window, I thought I saw two faces: one was looking longingly at the halwaa in my right hand, the other at the woman on my right.
***

when a little means a lot

Palestinian Refugees Give $10,000 To N.O. Survivors
9-14-5
RAMALLAH, West Bank (AP) - He says the amount may be small, but it's the thought that counts.
A representative of a Palestinian refugee council Tuesday presented a check for $10,000 to give to Hurricane Katrina's victims. The check is made out to the American Red Cross.
The spokesman says Palestinian refugees donated the money, and that they understand best what hurricane victims are now going through.
US Consul General Jacob Walles accepted the check at a ceremony in the West Bank. He says the gift means a lot, especially because it comes from the poorest Palestinians.

***

I was reading this book 'Palestine' by Joe Sacco (jazaakumullaah khayr to the person who sent it, it enriched me immeasurably) ...

...he mentions how he stayed in refugee camps in Palestine and was overwhelmed by the hospitality ..endless cups of sweet tea, specially brewed coffee and platters of food ordered in, a host giving up the bed he slept in because the floor would be too cold for the guest, offers to share clothes (even innerwear, at which the reporter demurred "after all we have to keep some distance" ) and finally, paying the taxi fare while seeing the guest off.

It touched me deeply, because this was the kind of krm كرمwe saw and aspired to while growing up..when guests coming to the house were met with a heartfelt smile not an inward groan...

..and it confirmed something I was talking to Rasha-Rida a while ago..the poor are possibly the last bastions of humane behaviour left on the planet -- everyone else has discarded the done thing for doing-their-own-thing.

The houses of ppl we know who aren't so "well off "in the worldly sense are the only ones where we felt *truly* welcome..where there wasn't saccharine behind the smile; contrasted with ppl whose houses were showcases/shrines to their possessions ... who made us feel as if allowing us to sit in their living rooms was a form of noblesse oblige.

You're studying in a WHAT??!

Nowadays, madrassahs are considered the much-maligned cesspits from which mad mullahs are unleashed upon an unsuspecting and largely sane world.

But it wasn't always this way.

When R-R came home this week with their bags full of books: classical Arabic grammar, tajweed (the science of reading the Qur'aan), tawheed and fiqh, science, maths, geography and Islaamic history, I felt a physical pain and a deep sense of loss.

For myself.. and all the days of my childhood I spent learning trivia or tripe.
For all the others who misunderstand, and so, will never know the true worth and potential of this knowledge.

As David Self writes in The Guardian:

At some point during the Middle Ages, the Western world adopted so-called Arabic numerals. They had probably originated in India; had been used throughout Muslim civilization for some 500 years and finally reached Europe through Spain — then under Muslim rule. Since Arabic is read from right to left, we still work traditional addition and subtraction sums, set out vertically, by reading them from right to left. Until we copied the Arabic method, we were innumerate.

I mean (and quickly now) what is MDCCLX minus XLVI?

We are indebted to the Arabic world not only for arithmetic but also for algebra and trigonometry. Logarithms were invented by a mathematician called Al-Khwarizmi in the 7th century. Test tubes, the compass and the first surgical tools were all pioneered by Muslim inventors. A thousand years
ago, it is said, Baghdad had 60 hospitals.
This scientific flowering was accompanied by the establishment of the first universities — or madrasahs. In a madrasah, the sheik or professor taught, literally, from a chair. He was assisted by readers. When the West eventually replicated such places of learning, we borrowed such terms.

The curriculum in a madrasah was wide-ranging. Knowledge embraced not only mathematics, science and medicine but technology and engineering. This pursuit was also faith-driven. In Islam, study and the acquisition of knowledge is an obligation for every male and female: The Prophet is quoted as saying: “Go even to China in pursuit of knowledge.” An open mind and the acquisition of new ideas, are requirements of the faith.
But then came the destruction of Baghdad by Mongol armies in 1258 and the final loss of Spain with the surrender of Granada in 1492. This left something of a power vacuum in the Muslim world. Over the next 100 years, it was filled by the “ulema” or religious scholars. Gradually they began to annex the concept of knowledge, and narrow its scope. Before long knowledge had come to mean
exclusively religious knowledge. Education became the preserve of religious teachers who maintained that they were uniquely qualified to interpret the Qur’an. One effect of this was the outlawing of the newly invented printing press from the Muslim world for 300 years.

Once again, the West was to borrow from the East. In 1542, the Catholic Church established its Holy Office, a final arbiter on anything that might be heretical. Just as the ulema wished to control
the knowledge industry, so too did the Church. When Galileo argued that our solar system was centered on the sun and that the earth might not be the center of everything, the Holy Office’s investigators (the Inquisition) forced him to recant and placed him under house arrest for the rest of his life. Even in the 19th and 20th centuries, the religious world attempted to enforce similar controls.
When Darwin proposed the theory of evolution, he was denounced and ridiculed by the majority of church leaders. In 1925, a Tennessee school teacher, John Scopes, was found guilty of teaching evolution. Even today, there are those who maintain that God created day and night on a Sunday, dry land on Tuesday and fish and birds on Thursday.

If fundamentalists feel such literal readings of the Bible should be part of the curriculum within American schools, who can blame the ulema for teaching similarly literal readings of the Qur’an?
Fundamentalists gain power by defining the ways scripture may be interpreted; by insisting on their loyalty to historic truth; by developing effective communication skills and by targeting the frightened, the insecure, the disaffected. The same could be said of some right-wing governments.It is futile to attempt to convert or even educate fundamentalists. They are certain that you are in error.

Meet Ablaa Rasha and Ablaa Rida

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

الحمد لله that we anjaahed our test...
[Ed: anjaahed=Arablish for passed]

..in the morning,we were very,very frightened..WHAT in the whole wide world would happen if we failed???! But it came to be that the test wasn't half an hour,as Abba frightened us off to the Mushaf..We went to sleep ---at least I tried to sleep.
morning..fajr, 5o'clock..prayed fajr..saying prayers in sujud: "Ya Allah,Ya Allah,help us, help us!!" ...revising Mushaf till quite some time...At eight o'clock in the morning, the young ones were asleep,I and Rida were gettin ready..
Abba was already off to work, so,after we got ready, I and Rida began to help Umma to get the young Rs ready,which took us quite some time. Abba came at ten o'clock--(in case ya'll don't know, the test was to begin at ten).
WE rode off in Abba's car, reached the school got off * all dignityd * ! Umma had a talk with the principal and two teachers took me and Rida off. they were v. polite.. one of them asked us our names, but the other one didn't say much... the test began,the one who asked us the names listened to a couple of surahs -- they asked me parts from Athariyaat, Qiyamah, Hashr, Mujaadilaah, Balad, aTalaaq, al Mulk. It was quite easy but I had been dreading all that they would ask ...well rather long talk this,isn't it?
And now aunty K I'm sure u know the real purpose of the fireworks display;)..massalama!!
ابلة رشا

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

I'm writing after such a long time that I really don't know what to write :) we got a whole pile of books from school and I'l l post something interesting from themإنشاء الله thank you everyone for your duaas, please keep us in your prayers

رضا

(Ed: in keeping with their newfound status, R-R will henceforth be referred to as Ablaa Rasha and Ablaa Rida (ablaa=teacher) by all lower forms of life aka younger bros and sis at home. Abu R-R tells me that chocolates strategically handed out when siblings call elders by desired appellation go a long way in facilitating the change from plain R to AR.

Also, now is the time to use their kunyaa (which like the best household china had been carefully put away on the backshelf of our minds): say assalaamu'alaykum to Umm ulKhayr and Umm alFadl :)))

Alhamdulillaah!!

فبأى آلاء ربكما تكذبان

And which of your Lord's blessings would you deny ?

1.04 am and all's well

There's a reason why I included the previous post on this blog..it put things in perspective for us..namely: there are, have been and always will be parents with alternative points of view who face the flak for being *different*
..ever since we opted for R-R to attend Arabic school and do their tahfeedh, we've had to contend with all kinds of reactions -- from "how quaint..I never knew ppl did that in this day and age *smirk*" to *horrified look*"..who gave you the right to mess up these poor kids' lives.. how on earth dyou think they'll ever fit in?"

as parents, the only place we're worried about our kids *fitting in* is jannah, where the tiniest space is better than the world and all that there is in it..and it is with this hope that they will be one day be among the ahl-al Qur'aan, the people of whom it will be said on the Day Of Judgement iqraa wa rattil kamaa kunta turattil fid-dunyaa that we persevere..

..it's 1.04 am here and I can't sleep
Rasha-Rida have a VEry Important Test at 10 am in the morning and I'm stressing and praying, stressing and praying..will they remember all that they've learnt, yaa Allaah please help them remember all that they've learnt
so this is a request for duaas from all the people who read this blog
and all the naysayers
and all the sceptics
and all the childrens' rights activists
please pray that they be among the successful, in this world and the next.
Aameen.